![]() Joining the Odyssey on Safety Pick Tier Two (because its collision-warning system only screams of impending doom, rather than braking to do something about it), it also boasts eight different electronic systems to mitigate the loss of traction or stability. Otherwise occupied: Birthday-boy John Fazioli (in the way back) and friends Connor Love (left) and Aidan Naughton. That plus the $1800 Advanced Technology package (adaptive cruise control, Pre-Collision System, and hill-start assist) punted the price up to the test’s highest: $48,035. Our Limited model included dual sunroofs and a Blu-ray player. (The Honda was a TSPP last year, but isn’t for 2015 because the criteria changed this year to require an automatic-braking system.) The Sienna is still the only minivan to offer four-wheel drive, but we had a front-driver. The Toyota is a “Top Safety Pick Plus” on account of its available Pre-Collision automatic-braking system. The latter uses the voice-control microphone already embedded above the driver’s head and broadcasts scoldings through the rear speakers. Toyota’s Sienna is also fresh off a fluffing, with a stiffened structure, updated dashboard, new grille and headlights, and the “Driver Easy Speak” built-in bullhorn. With a 16.2-inch video screen in the headliner and a 12-speaker stereo, our Odyssey Elite rings in at $45,480. A sturdier front structure helps the Odyssey on the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety’s new small-overlap front crash test, securing the Institute’s “Top Safety Pick” rating. The update includes said vacuum (only on the top-of-the-line Elite trim), new aluminum sheetmetal for the schnoz, and prettier interior fixings. Meanwhile, our reigning champ in the segment, the Honda Odyssey, which won every minivan comparo we’ve conducted in the last decade, was refreshed for 2014. We have no Chrysler/Dodge or Nissan entrants here because neither one has been sufficiently updated since last losing a comparison test. Maybe even, uh, a vacuum cleaner? You might say its vacuum makes the Honda Odyssey more of a woman cave, but we wouldn’t say that because we don’t want our wives to slap us. But the biggest bummer of all is that your best option, if you think about it rationally, is to drive a minivan.Īs America’s most accessible philosopher, Jack Handey, once wrote, “If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?” At the very least, spike your citrus with all the garnishes of a mobile man cave: widescreen TV, Blu-ray player, and a name-brand audio system. ![]() Then it’s all sympathy weight poop in unimaginable colors, textures, and places and, later, insolence. And that’s not such a bad thing-right up until you succeed. Meanwhile, perpetuating life on Earth is, for whatever reason, our most basic urge. Billions of years from now, after all of humanity’s great struggles and achievements, the universe will collapse back in on itself, and all that exists and all knowledge of all that was will be compressed into a singularity so inescapable that not even Katniss Everdeen will be able to shoot her way out. From the March 2015 issue of Car and Driver.
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